Thursday, 1 December 2011


Oh my goodness its now 3am on the 2nd of December, not a present bought nor wrapped, but what the heck (does this face looked bovvered?) Every year I promise myself I will start in January and snatch up all the post christmas goodies, but never do. Then come June I remember my granny boiling up christmas puds in an old wash boiler in the back yard, this was done at least every 3 months during the year, and the puds were then fed with brandy and re-wrapped in their muslin overcoats until they had their final outing on christmas day when they were stuffed with silver sixpences and arrived at the table flaming with more brandy and as black as coal. I dont know what health and safety would make of real money in christmas puds nowadays, I am sure we swallowed a few in our time, and had to wait for a few days for the change.

Christmas was wonderful as a child, we alternated between our house one year and Nannys the next. Our house was great because we still had our mates to play with, but nannys was special too. It was the one day of the year when we were allowed to go in her front room, and even the loose covers were taken off the 3 piece suite. Lunch was always served at 1pm come hell or high water, grandad and dad wore their paper hats until long after we went to bed, and used to snore the afternoon away while the ladies (nanny, auntie Nellie and mum) washed up, amused children and cut sandwiches for teatime. Teatime was always a huge home cooked ham, tinned crab and smoked salmon, nannys christmas cake, trifle and sausage rolls and mince pies.

After tea the real exciting things happened, games of bingo !!! a beetle drive !!! Lexicon !!! and extra pressies from under the tree and silly prizes. Nanny and auntie Nellie were tee total, but we used to get them tiddly by dosing them with Stones ginger wine (which they thought was non alcoholic pop) they also loved Baileys, but only on their icecream lol.

So where is this leading ? well this year I am hoping as usual for a large fresh cock for christmas (thats a capon to you dirty minded readers) this I shall cook to perfection, and I will make the stuffing myself too. once I have completed this culinary masterpiece, I shall unthaw sprouts, give thanks to Aunt Bessies roast vegetables (also frozen) and glaze a few carrots.(Job done)

The cake and mincepies will be courtesey of Messrs ASDA, and I will travel to Iceland for the gateaux and pavlova. Christmas cards, well I still have the ones I wrote but failed to send last year, so all I need to do is buy a few pairs of socks and pants, a large bag of shower gels and various smellies from the chemist. Oh and assorted selection boxes, choccy oranges, toblerones, after 8 mints, alka seltzer, rennies and a few cases of Stella lager, then settle back and watch TV. (I really cant understand what all the panic is about.

I have just remembered, its now Friday and I have my second weigh in on Monday so maybe I should put off the shopping till Tuesday (will let you know how I get on)

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