Tuesday, 6 March 2012


Well I dont know where it went, but I know we had some glorious weather, spring bulbs are showing in all their glory. Took mum for a drive to the coast on Thursday last week, stopped at an arts and crafts centre for morning Coffee and was impressed with the easy access for wheelchairs around the units, or I was until we tried to get into the tearooms, lovely paved gradient up to the door, and then a foot high threshold to manoeuver the chair over, what are these people thinking of !!!! Still the coffee was hot and delicious.

Had a wander around the gardens (mistake number 2) no paving here, just grass, which seemed short and firm when entering, but ended up long, boggy and meant a long push uphill to extricate ourselves. I did manage to take a few pics of the lovely snowdrops and aconites, and the large metal sculptures of insects among the flowerbeds, and when I work out how to download them I will share them with you.

Carried on to Roughton for fish and chips (eaten in the car) because again there is no way of getting mum and chair into the restauraunt, but it was still yummy and the weather even better the nearer we got to the coast, I now have a car that smells like a chippie.

Continued to Cromer and stopped at the top of the cliffs to watch the sea for a while, it was crystal clear and so calm , so we fed the remains of our chips to the shitehawks who then decided to screech and bomb the car with poo. Then off along the coast road to Sheringham for afternoon tea with mums youngest sister Shirley, and a good old mardle.

We left at 3.30 and cut cross country home, through all the back roads, weather still glorious and a great day out was had by all .

Talking of stupid ideas that really annoy me, like poor access for disabled people, I discovered an even more stupid idea today, son brought me home a big bag of smarties (my current favourite treat) and guess what? they now come in a resealable bag !!!! perrrleeese what a pointless waste of packaging money, as if I would ever need to do that , its almost as barmy as freezing leftover wine in ice trays for using in stock, it never happens.

Well I have refrained from posting my dieting progress, I admit I was a bit disappointed at staying the same over Christmas, and couldnt really get into it in January, when I lost just 2 pounds but on the positive side it was still a loss, and brought the total up to 24 pounds lost. I went for another weigh in on the 5th March and I was feeling very fat and frumpy, my head is not in a good place at the moment, I seem to be awake all night and then sleep all day (maybe I am turning into a hamster), and I seem to be in constant pain.

I really am missing male company, just for a chat and a tease and a cuddle, I shall be 60 in May, but not prepared to lay down and die quite yet. I have missed another leap year so I missed any chance of doing a bit of proposing, I even thought of broadening my horizons and popping down to the night shelter, but it was a bit cold and rainy.

So 24 pounds off, not bad, and after jumping on the scales on Monday, another 5 pounds off, so 29 total lost, thats just over 2 stone. slow and steady seems the way to go. Blood sugars are down to an amazing 6.9, cholesterol to 3.2 . so alt least the consultants are happy.

Every 2 weeks I get a phone call from mum reminding me that her library books are due back the following week this in itself is not a problem, but invariably mum stays at home and I have to choose the books for her. this is a list of her preferences.

1) all boooks must be of crime gendre, the more gory the better

2) if possible books should be in large print

3) all books must be paperback format, as hardback are too heavy !!!!!!

4) some american crime writers are OK some are crap !!!

5) Dick Francis is a GOD (but she has read all his books several times)

6) Scandinavian crime writers ALL are crap

7) Sue Grafton writes a great thriller, but again mum you have read them all too

8) Autobiographies are OK as long as they are about gays or fat people, and she can't stand
that Jeremy Clarkson bloke

and that my friend is the literary works according to my 83 year old mum, who has opinions on everything, and expresses them louder and louder as the years progress.

more soon I hope xxxxxxx

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Hello 2112

Another year gone and a new year almost one month in. I survived christmas, New year, anniversary of the passing of a loved one, and Number one sons birthday, and yes the diet is surviving (just).

I had my first weigh in in January, and was bricking it, but had actually stayed the same, despite the 2 party sized black forest gateau and the array of cheeses we devoured, so I was still quite motivated. Next weigh in is on 9th February, so I am hoping the downward trend will continue at a sensible rate.

Had a follow up appointment at the diabetes centre last week, and my long term blood glucose had reduced from over 14 down to 7.1, so it is offically normal !!!! feedback was excellent, insulin has been reduced further and my longterm plan is to keep reducing it as the weight goes.

Mum continues to fight on, she too had another birthday this month, where she held court for all and sundry. Out came the Hyacinth tea trolley and the bone china tea set (with the blue periwinkles) and muggins here kept the brews flowing.

The weather forecasters are predicting a month of arctic weather to hit us in the next few days, so far we have been quite lucky, obviously it is chilly, well it is winter, but every passing day means spring is closer, and the snowdrops and crocuses will soon be showing themselves in all their glory. Spring and autumn have always been my favourite seasons, I dont like hot and i dont like cold, but love the new growth and colours of those seasons.

So what am I going to do this year? well I have given up hope of finding a man who will put up with me, so I suppose it will be another one of going solo, being a hermit and occasional trips to the coast to watch the world go by, people watching is such a fascinating pastime.

We have the grand national and boat race in april, Wimbledon in June and of course from July the olympics will be on, that takes care of my exercise for the year, as watching them can be so exhausting. I scream through the National (go Onnn my son !) , grunt through the tennis and groan through the Olympics. all very good at burning calories.

I seem to have writers block at the moment, I lie awake at night and think of all the funny things I would like to relay to you, then, when I actually get round to typing my mind goes blank .

I have memories of long gone relatives which warm my heart. My fondest memories are of Auntie Nellie, my nannies twin sister. They were not identical twins, nannie was the pretty one and got married, auntie Nellie was the plain one and went into service. Right up to her death in her 90's she had jet black hair (dyed) in a pudding basin cut, she was 5ft nothing, and looked like Ronnie Corbett. She was a veritable whirlwind, never still, always cleaning or dusting something.

She broke things with gay abandon, and used to stick handles on broken cups with fairy liquid and let it dry till set!!!!! so it was not unusual to get a lap full of hot tea if you drew the wrong cup lol. She had wonderful stories to tell of her growing up years and would tell them to anyone who had the time to listen. She used to come and "do" for us once a week (mainly so mum could ensure she got a decent meal) and I remember one day finding her beating one of my false eyelashes to death with a hearth brush as she had mistaken it for a spider !!! happy days.

I think i may tell more of my disfunctional family at a later date, but had better try and save this as I think a gremlin may be trying to eat it. Hopefully more soon xxxxxx

Monday, 5 December 2011


I know we have more to come, but I am cold. Popped out to the local garage last night to grab some milk, and for the first time this year my dashboard was adorned with that little yellow snowflake. 2 degrees, but still flippin cold for my poor old heart and lungs. Within minutes I was almost on my knees, unable to breathe and with that crushing angina pain. I always carry my nitro spray with me (in fact I have a spray in every room, every bag and in the car) Sat a while with the heater on and managed to struggle home, once warmed up I was fine.

For the next few months any outings I undertake I will be attired as Scott of the Antarctic. I shall have a fur lined parka (synthetic of course) thermal vest gloves hat and bloomers, fishermans socks, longjohns and at least 2 pairs of trousers and my wooly slipper boots. I hate going out in the ice, and am terrified of losing my footing and falling arse over tit. I remember a couple of years ago doing the splits in deep snow in the middle of our village, Thing is you are so embarrassed that someone you know has seen you, you leap up laughing inanely and being really tough, and then have to walk home with a fanny full of snow !!!! Imagine the conversation with the doctor " and how did you get frostbite there Ms Reade ?" lol.

Oh well only 19 days to go to christmas, and still not a card written or a present bought. Mum told me yesterday what she really wanted for christmas, its one of those spikey flip floppy things that you put on the shower floor and stick your foot in it, wiggle it about and its supposed to clean and remove hard skin !!!! (last year all she wanted was a back brush for the shower). So what am I supposed to do? buy it and have her slip over with her super soapy feet and break her neck, or not buy her what she says is the only present that she would love, what a quandry I am in. I know it will never get used, as her feet are so ticklish she wont be able to bear it lol and I will probably get it back from her in June as a gift. (Bless her)

Well today was weigh in day, I didnt feel any thinner this month, so wasnt hoping for much, my joints have been painful, so I havent done as much excercise as I would have liked, although I have been doing knee bends while waiting for the kettle to boil, and buttock clenching whilst sitting at the computer, so hopefully I will be toning something up.

I got into the surgery (It is now sleeting) and saw Maxine my diabetic nurse. She complimented me on how great I was looking, well i was freshly coiffed and made up for a change. I jumped on the scales and wooohoooo another 6 pounds off making a total of 22 pounds. Maxine was so excited that she let out a loud squeal and waltzed me round the room.

I had to come clean and get a new prescription for some insulin as I had inadvertly frozen mine when the fridge went on the blink, but it was not a problem as I have another fridge in the wardrobe in the bedroom, where it resides with a 4ft fishtank, 2 dysons and a henry !!! (yes its a big wardrobe). Next weigh in is on the 9th January, so I will have an extra week to get over the holiday stuffing.

Thats all for now, hopefully more soon.

PS if you are reading this and like it, please say so xxx

Thursday, 1 December 2011


Oh my goodness its now 3am on the 2nd of December, not a present bought nor wrapped, but what the heck (does this face looked bovvered?) Every year I promise myself I will start in January and snatch up all the post christmas goodies, but never do. Then come June I remember my granny boiling up christmas puds in an old wash boiler in the back yard, this was done at least every 3 months during the year, and the puds were then fed with brandy and re-wrapped in their muslin overcoats until they had their final outing on christmas day when they were stuffed with silver sixpences and arrived at the table flaming with more brandy and as black as coal. I dont know what health and safety would make of real money in christmas puds nowadays, I am sure we swallowed a few in our time, and had to wait for a few days for the change.

Christmas was wonderful as a child, we alternated between our house one year and Nannys the next. Our house was great because we still had our mates to play with, but nannys was special too. It was the one day of the year when we were allowed to go in her front room, and even the loose covers were taken off the 3 piece suite. Lunch was always served at 1pm come hell or high water, grandad and dad wore their paper hats until long after we went to bed, and used to snore the afternoon away while the ladies (nanny, auntie Nellie and mum) washed up, amused children and cut sandwiches for teatime. Teatime was always a huge home cooked ham, tinned crab and smoked salmon, nannys christmas cake, trifle and sausage rolls and mince pies.

After tea the real exciting things happened, games of bingo !!! a beetle drive !!! Lexicon !!! and extra pressies from under the tree and silly prizes. Nanny and auntie Nellie were tee total, but we used to get them tiddly by dosing them with Stones ginger wine (which they thought was non alcoholic pop) they also loved Baileys, but only on their icecream lol.

So where is this leading ? well this year I am hoping as usual for a large fresh cock for christmas (thats a capon to you dirty minded readers) this I shall cook to perfection, and I will make the stuffing myself too. once I have completed this culinary masterpiece, I shall unthaw sprouts, give thanks to Aunt Bessies roast vegetables (also frozen) and glaze a few carrots.(Job done)

The cake and mincepies will be courtesey of Messrs ASDA, and I will travel to Iceland for the gateaux and pavlova. Christmas cards, well I still have the ones I wrote but failed to send last year, so all I need to do is buy a few pairs of socks and pants, a large bag of shower gels and various smellies from the chemist. Oh and assorted selection boxes, choccy oranges, toblerones, after 8 mints, alka seltzer, rennies and a few cases of Stella lager, then settle back and watch TV. (I really cant understand what all the panic is about.

I have just remembered, its now Friday and I have my second weigh in on Monday so maybe I should put off the shopping till Tuesday (will let you know how I get on)

Monday, 7 November 2011


Well here we are again, summer has been and gone and the leaves are turning into glorious autumn colours. Its been a quiet few months with nothing of note happening to blog about, and there is nothing worse than a load of drivel with no news so I decided to give it a rest and hope I would bounce back in order to give my few fans a smile or two.

OK so I guess the time is right for a catch up. This summer we have had another wedding (again not mine ) but a glorious day nevertheless. It was out in the country and of course in preparation mum and I had to do a reccee a couple of weeks before in order to get our bearings for the big day. We did quite well, only getting lost a few times, it did get a bit scary when one road we travelled down got more and more narrow and grass appeared in the middle of the tarmac, but it was very pretty. Ended up finding a huge garden centre and doing out favourite pastime, lunching.

Wedding morning dawned and we set off, mum in her buttermilk suit and me in a fetching navy patterned dress and shrug and very expensive shoes (with heels) Unfortunately the only parking available was a huge field, freshly mown, at the back of the church. I hopped out and got the wheelchair from the boot and straightaway caught my heel in long stalks of grass with teasels and brambles and went arse over tit. Managed to get mother into the chair and then found it impossible to drag the chair the few feet to the church pathway (which was gravel) grrrr. Fortunately other guests were arriving and several strong men came to the rescue and carried mum and chair, sedan chair style, onto firmer ground. A lovely day was had by all, excellent company, lovely food and non stop booze, and if it hadnt been for my back progressively seizing up I may even have had a smooch or two.

The new car is running well, and is very economical after the Focus, mum and I have had many jaunts around the county all ending in lunch somewhere, and I hope to continue these trips as often as the weather allows, so if the sun is out hopefully we will be too.

My latest trip to the diabetic clinic was quite an eye opener, in addition to the 2 types of insulin I am on they decided to put me on slow release metformin as my blood sugars are still way too high. Apparently insulin is responsible for weight gain, and I was on massive doses (100 ml 3 times a day) plus 100 ml Levimir a slow acting insulin at night which means 4 pricks a day !!!!
but to my credit I had managed to lose 7 lbs. Since being on the new tablets my blood sugars have come down a lot, and I am reducing my insulin already down between 40 and 50ml a dose and this has given me the incentive to DIET !!!!

I saw Maxine the diabetic practitioner at my surgery and had a chat to her before embarking on this new diet. She is a big girl herself, and was so encouraging I arranged to see her again in a month, and that month was up today. Guess what, I have lost 9 lbs so in total 16 pounds. I feel really proud, 9 pounds may not seem much but its over 2lb a week and I have been eating very sensibly, even having occasional treats.

I am hoping to try and up my excercise but its very difficult with the heart problems and the arthritis, but keep telling myself that the more weight i shift, the less strain for my joints, so at the moment I am feeling very positive.

Well thats me done for now, I hope to find some funny snippets for you in the weeks to come, because even I find it hard to type and eat at the same time

Friday, 10 June 2011

Back like the proverbial bad penny

Woke at 4:30 this morning to the sound of rain tinkling on my window pane, the first rain in weeks here. This of course meant that I had to go to the bathroom and do my own tinkling.

My shiny new bathroom which was replaced early this year and of course did NOT go without a hitch, started off very well, old toilet out and new one installed in a matter of hours, but how can you use it when needed if there are a plethera of workmen on site. I am paranoid about someone hearing me tinkle lol . Smart new pedestal sink installed next, and finally the bath which was sealed and filled with cold water to weigh it down for the night. Next morning lots of banging and crashing and i go upstairs to find the loo sitting on the landing and the sink on my bed !!!!! and even more worrying, no sign of any workmen. So here i was totally dishevelled and not a pot to pi** in.

Lunchtime came and went then another 2 guys turned up to lay the flooring !!! Even me, a mere woman could have worked out that this should have been done first as it is non slip sheet flooring that needs to be laid in one piece with no seams. Anyway the plumber eventually returned and fitted it all back, saying he would return tomorrow to finish off boxing in the bath. I couldnt wait to see the back of them, I hate strangers in the house, and it was bliss to have a working loo and i celebrated with a soak in the new bath. Job was eventually finished 4 days later (or so I thought)

Got up on the Saturday morning, the hand basin was totally blocked and the toilet leaking raw sewage onto the floor I rang the contractors (out of hours answerphone) and insisted they sort it out NOW. They rang back suggesting I put a bowl under the loo (duh I had) and said they would pop in on Monday to fix it. I think my colourful language convinced them that maybe they should come immediately and surprisingly they did.

More successful was the rewiring of the house. Same contractors so i was understandably concerned, but this time everything went like clockwork, all sockets replaced with doubles, and installed at high level for ease of use. No longer do I have extension leads throwing out more heat than the central heating lol, I even have an extra socket for my iron (like that will get used lol ) NOT !!!

Mum is still her unique self, she has a medi alert alarm in case she falls or needs help. It has been playing up a bit lately, and I usually get calls at about 3 in the morning to say she has fallen in the kitchen (usually when wandering about for a biscuit and a cuppa) In the past it has been a case of driving over in my jim jams, checking her over, picking her up and popping her back in bed. Unfortunately the last time she didnt have her buzzer pendant with her grrrrr and it was a very cold March night. She managed to crawl back to the bedroom to summon help but unfortunately she had got really cold, and i was really weak and couldn't lift her on my own, so had to summon little brother to help out. She said her ankle was hurting and I suggested we went to the hospital there and then, but since she had a lunch date the next day she said she was OK. She went to her lunch in agony apparently, when I saw her on the Monday her ankle was up like a balloon and her toes black so i told her we were going to the hospital, she said no the doctors will do !! so we went there, and surprise surprise they took one look and sent her to hospital . The verdict was one bad sprain, fortunately nothing broken. she agreed to rest the foot, but refused the ice packs and the elevation bless her.

Her latest escapade was getting marooned at the top of the garden. she somehow managed to get a bit of wheelspin on her electric scooter and bedded it down in the vegetable garden, as she did not have her sticks with her she was stuck at the top of the garden till she managed to raise a neighbour to come to her rescue.

Next week is going to be an exciting one, its time to trade in and change my car, I can't believe its been 3 years. This time I am downsizing to a Fiesta and hoping that i can fit in the wheelchair. I am sure it will be OK if I drop the back seats

Oh I almost forgot, I have finally got a new canary, he is Charlie number 2, I worried that he was mute for the first month, but after playing him clips off U-tube of singing canaries he has finally cottoned on, he sings beautifully, but unfortunately starts at 4 30 in the morning, and dosent stop till dusk.

I hope to post more catch ups soon take care xx

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

The Wedding !!!

Well the day finally arrived, glorious sunshine and a gentle breeze, perfect wedding weather.

Spent the morning titivating, nails, hair styled into a reckless curly bob all puffed up like a candyfloss. Left mum having her hair styled and set off on a 10 mile jaunt to pick up brother John. Well it was a lovely day so I thought I would go the pretty cross country way. This was mistake number one, as 20 miles later I found myself completely lost and about 15 miles the wrong side of where i should be !!! Forty five minutes later I eventually found a signpost to point me in the right general direction, and after reversing into several fields I arrived at my destination.

Headed back to mums to find her all ready and waiting and looking wonderful. Splashed some cold water on my rosy cheeks, trowelled on the polyfilla and make up, shoved my facinating facinator on my head and quickly got dressed. Mum was impressed, she actually liked the outfit, so off we went. After a quick fashion show for the neighbours who turned up to ohh and ahh we hit the road.

Norfolk Highways had decided to shove their spanner in the works by closing the main road into Norwich for 10 weeks so we took a round the houses route to arrive in good time at the hotel. After being buzzed into the locked carpark, we then negotiated a huge ramp with the wheelchair, thank goodness John was pushing, ( he also needs a crash course in wheelchair etiquette,) as I think mum moaned at every bump he found, and once into the hotel we encountered a maze of narrow corridors, and I think he scraped paint at every bend lol.

St Giles Hotel was featured on a TV makeover show and the amount they spent was quite extortionate. It was fascinating to see what they had done to it, beautiful mouldings, crystal chandeliers, wonderful original carvings had all been preserved. There was a beautiful central decking area full of colourful flowers outside where a lot of pics were taken. The photographer was extremely thorough and had a real knack for getting the best and most natural shots out of the few fractious toddlers, and an extrordinary girl mingled with the guests and produced amazing caricatures in two minutes flat. John had his done, and after much protesting we got mums done too, Johns was hilarious she really got him off to a tee, and mum had a regal air to hers, and despite her protests she really loved it..

We were allowed a quick peep at the bridal suite in all its opulence, the bathroom was huge with a king size roll top bath, and amazing tiles and furnishings, the lounge was lovely with comfy sofas, soft furnishings and mood lighting, and the bedroom !!!! well it was gorgeous.

The Pimms was on tap and we imbibed a few before making our way up to the ceremony room. Again all carved wood and crystal and beautiful white flowers. Mark and Alison each have a teenage son and daughter. It was incredible to see how these two families have come together, with all the youngsters showing a natural affection towards each other. Alisons son Danny gave the bride away, and Marks son Lewis was the best man. The two girls Charlie and Emma were stunning bridesmaids and little Amy was an exemplarary flower girl. (Her little brother handed out bags of fresh white rose petals for us to bombard the happy couple.

A lady was playing the harp and it was truly beautiful, after the ceremony she moved down to the bar and played for hours. She had an amazing repertoire from classical to modern, and she did a wonderful version of Chasing cars and other chart hits and movie soundtrack themes.

After the speeches which were perfect, short, funny and with a few tears thrown in for good measure (i did get my hanky out) we went back upstairs to eat. Food was a massive buffet of smoked salmon, prawns, thick hot rare roast beef, beautiful ham, curries rice salads and fresh baked rolls followed by white choc and raspberry cheesecake or lemon tart. It was yummy.

By 10 o clock we were flagging, and the party started to break up due to lots having work the next day, so we said our farewells and made our weary way home.

I cant say the day changed my view of weddings, and I certainly wouldnt want one of my own, but I just know that this little family will be OK second time around, and wish them every happiness from the bottom of my heart.

Now this is over, I can remove my nail extensions and continue with the Lemon fizz painting project ( well I will when my headache goes)