ONLY JUST DECEMBER AND I'M COLD

I know we have more to come, but I am cold. Popped out to the local garage last night to grab some milk, and for the first time this year my dashboard was adorned with that little yellow snowflake. 2 degrees, but still flippin cold for my poor old heart and lungs. Within minutes I was almost on my knees, unable to breathe and with that crushing angina pain. I always carry my nitro spray with me (in fact I have a spray in every room, every bag and in the car) Sat a while with the heater on and managed to struggle home, once warmed up I was fine.

For the next few months any outings I undertake I will be attired as Scott of the Antarctic. I shall have a fur lined parka (synthetic of course) thermal vest gloves hat and bloomers, fishermans socks, longjohns and at least 2 pairs of trousers and my wooly slipper boots. I hate going out in the ice, and am terrified of losing my footing and falling arse over tit. I remember a couple of years ago doing the splits in deep snow in the middle of our village, Thing is you are so embarrassed that someone you know has seen you, you leap up laughing inanely and being really tough, and then have to walk home with a fanny full of snow !!!! Imagine the conversation with the doctor " and how did you get frostbite there Ms Reade ?" lol.

Oh well only 19 days to go to christmas, and still not a card written or a present bought. Mum told me yesterday what she really wanted for christmas, its one of those spikey flip floppy things that you put on the shower floor and stick your foot in it, wiggle it about and its supposed to clean and remove hard skin !!!! (last year all she wanted was a back brush for the shower). So what am I supposed to do? buy it and have her slip over with her super soapy feet and break her neck, or not buy her what she says is the only present that she would love, what a quandry I am in. I know it will never get used, as her feet are so ticklish she wont be able to bear it lol and I will probably get it back from her in June as a gift. (Bless her)

Well today was weigh in day, I didnt feel any thinner this month, so wasnt hoping for much, my joints have been painful, so I havent done as much excercise as I would have liked, although I have been doing knee bends while waiting for the kettle to boil, and buttock clenching whilst sitting at the computer, so hopefully I will be toning something up.

I got into the surgery (It is now sleeting) and saw Maxine my diabetic nurse. She complimented me on how great I was looking, well i was freshly coiffed and made up for a change. I jumped on the scales and wooohoooo another 6 pounds off making a total of 22 pounds. Maxine was so excited that she let out a loud squeal and waltzed me round the room.

I had to come clean and get a new prescription for some insulin as I had inadvertly frozen mine when the fridge went on the blink, but it was not a problem as I have another fridge in the wardrobe in the bedroom, where it resides with a 4ft fishtank, 2 dysons and a henry !!! (yes its a big wardrobe). Next weigh in is on the 9th January, so I will have an extra week to get over the holiday stuffing.

Thats all for now, hopefully more soon.

PS if you are reading this and like it, please say so xxx

CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND THIS GOOSE IS FAT

Oh my goodness its now 3am on the 2nd of December, not a present bought nor wrapped, but what the heck (does this face looked bovvered?) Every year I promise myself I will start in January and snatch up all the post christmas goodies, but never do. Then come June I remember my granny boiling up christmas puds in an old wash boiler in the back yard, this was done at least every 3 months during the year, and the puds were then fed with brandy and re-wrapped in their muslin overcoats until they had their final outing on christmas day when they were stuffed with silver sixpences and arrived at the table flaming with more brandy and as black as coal. I dont know what health and safety would make of real money in christmas puds nowadays, I am sure we swallowed a few in our time, and had to wait for a few days for the change.

Christmas was wonderful as a child, we alternated between our house one year and Nannys the next. Our house was great because we still had our mates to play with, but nannys was special too. It was the one day of the year when we were allowed to go in her front room, and even the loose covers were taken off the 3 piece suite. Lunch was always served at 1pm come hell or high water, grandad and dad wore their paper hats until long after we went to bed, and used to snore the afternoon away while the ladies (nanny, auntie Nellie and mum) washed up, amused children and cut sandwiches for teatime. Teatime was always a huge home cooked ham, tinned crab and smoked salmon, nannys christmas cake, trifle and sausage rolls and mince pies.

After tea the real exciting things happened, games of bingo !!! a beetle drive !!! Lexicon !!! and extra pressies from under the tree and silly prizes. Nanny and auntie Nellie were tee total, but we used to get them tiddly by dosing them with Stones ginger wine (which they thought was non alcoholic pop) they also loved Baileys, but only on their icecream lol.

So where is this leading ? well this year I am hoping as usual for a large fresh cock for christmas (thats a capon to you dirty minded readers) this I shall cook to perfection, and I will make the stuffing myself too. once I have completed this culinary masterpiece, I shall unthaw sprouts, give thanks to Aunt Bessies roast vegetables (also frozen) and glaze a few carrots.(Job done)

The cake and mincepies will be courtesey of Messrs ASDA, and I will travel to Iceland for the gateaux and pavlova. Christmas cards, well I still have the ones I wrote but failed to send last year, so all I need to do is buy a few pairs of socks and pants, a large bag of shower gels and various smellies from the chemist. Oh and assorted selection boxes, choccy oranges, toblerones, after 8 mints, alka seltzer, rennies and a few cases of Stella lager, then settle back and watch TV. (I really cant understand what all the panic is about.

I have just remembered, its now Friday and I have my second weigh in on Monday so maybe I should put off the shopping till Tuesday (will let you know how I get on)